In a far away universe, there lived a little green alien named Cookie. If you saw Cookie, you’d probably say he was pretty funny looking with a pretty funny name. If he saw you, he’d probably say the same thing about you.

♪ Universal Sunset

One night, just as Cookie and his friends were about to go home, they heard a booming voice spread across the sky: “Listen up, people of the universe! It’s time for this universe to go to sleep. Just as the sun sets each night, this universe too must sunset, and now is that time. You have 10 more rises of the suns until all becomes dark. We have spoken.” Then the voice was gone. Cookie looked into the dimming sky and thought to himself: now what do I do?

♪ Can You Visualize It?

Cookie was confused, and a bit sad. This was the only universe he knew. Why was it disappearing? Where could he go when everything turned dark? Feeling discouraged, he noticed a comet streaking across the sky, a brilliant light gleaming in the face of the oncoming darkness. Riding the comet was a Space Diva, who saw that Cookie looked sad and began to sing him a song.

♪ Follow the Urchin

Cookie wasn’t the only one who heard the Diva’s beautiful song. Sliding out from behind the moon, a wild Space Urchin came down to investigate: bright blue, huge spines jutting out all over. It looked fearsome, but Cookie knew that Space Urchins were friendly, true and loyal companions with the power to travel quickly between the stars.

♪ First Party Cookie (Third Party Cookie)

The Urchin could travel far, but it didn’t have the magic to leave a doomed universe. For that, Cookie needed the Great Tag Magician, a powerful wizard who could step between universes as easily as crossing the street. The wizard was known to love parties, so Cookie flew to the first party he could find. The people there seemed really nice. They didn’t know where the Tag Magician was, but they were very interested in Cookie, and they asked all kinds of questions. Too many questions. The weirdness only got worse with each party after that, and after the third party, Cookie gave up.

♪ Great Tag Magician

But as wizards tend to do, that’s when the Great Tag Magician found Cookie: a glint in the corner of his eye that grew into a tall man in a pink suit with long gloves and a top hat, bowing low. His dimensional transport ship was an un-place, a nexus point where Cookie could project himself across the multiverse and walk out anywhere he chose. He had only to step inside, and leave his old universe behind forever.

♪ Beyond My Universe

Cookie took a deep breath, and left his universe behind. Adrift between where he had been and where he had yet to go, he heard the universes sing out, each with its own song: some tiny and quiet, some big and loud, all beautiful in their own way. The number of songs was truly frightening, and Cookie knew he would have to be brave and patient to find a new home. He began to carefully listen.

The search through the universes themselves (Matomo, Piwik PRO, GA4, Plausible, Piano, Adobe, Amplitude, and one purely custom dimension) is another story. That story is Volume 2.

It’s a tribute to the platform an entire industry grew up on: equal parts loving send-off and cosmic fever dream.