♪ New Universe

Cookie slowly opened his eyes and looked around at this new place. He remembered listening to so many different universes, but he couldn’t remember ever choosing one. Yet here he was: somewhere new and strange. Had the choice been made for him?

♪ 4 O’Clock All Over

When he listened, all he could hear was the faint ticking of a clock far away. Or maybe many clocks? As his eyes adjusted, he started to see clocks everywhere: some tiny pocket watches, some with faces as big as mountains. And they all showed the same time. Four.

♪ The Professor’s Warning · Ethical Guide to the Multiverse

Annoyed, Cookie smashed a rock against one of the great clock faces. From behind the shattered clock hopped a small wingless bird, who raised his long beak and said, in a clear and melodious voice: “I’m sorry, but afraid you mustn’t smash… nor slice. Nor drill nor dice. The guide is, of course, quite clear.” His name was Professor Piwiky, the Great Tag Magician’s own familiar, and he leapt to Cookie’s shoulder to teach him the rules. Dimensional travel is confusing, and without rules it can be dangerous.

♪ Safely Exploring · Next Big Thing

With the Professor on his shoulder, Cookie jumped between universes, and discovered that no universe was perfect. Wherever he went he attracted attention, and stepping forward with a friendly smile and a firm handshake came The Representative: one person who was also many people, each ready to give Cookie a quick tour of their shiny new universe.

♪ A New Friend

Weary from the hunt, Cookie sat on a park bench, missing his old friend the Space Urchin. “You look lonely over there, my good man! Perhaps I can be of assistance!” said a friendly looking fellow with thick glasses. His name was Olap, a wizard’s apprentice, eager to introduce Cookie to his master. Cookie was suspicious, but then again, the Great Tag Magician had shown up at just the right time too.

♪ The Star Schemer · Join Me at the Table

The Star Schemer seemed to have all the answers. Unlike most wizards, Olap said, he was happy to share his powers. All Cookie had to do was sign his name. And as Cookie squinted at all the tiny big words on the paper, Olap leaned in: the Professor means well, but all those rules just make everything harder. The rules, he said, were what got Cookie’s universe sunset in the first place. That made Cookie mad, and a little scared. He figured he should at least listen.

♪ Slice & Dice · Custom Dimension

Inspired and empowered, Cookie began to borrow parts from every universe he’d visited, slicing pieces off and combining them into a home he could keep forever. He hadn’t had this much fun since the old days of staying out late with his friends. It was a lot of work, but it would be worth it.

♪ That Little Voice…

But somewhere in the back of his mind, Cookie started to worry. Where had Professor Piwiky gone? Why hadn’t the Space Urchin been able to find him? Was his new custom dimension against the rules? No. The Star Schemer was ethical, he had said so himself. And who was Cookie to argue with a wizard? Everything was going to be just fine. He was sure of it.

To be continued. (Due to a HyperLogLog++ cardinality estimation error, we’ve lost track of which step of the hero’s journey Cookie is on, but expect a trilogy.)

Dramatis Personae

Cookie: our hero. A little green alien who lost his home when his whole universe was sunset. Blue Space Diva: Cookie’s first friend, who taught him to look inside himself for answers. Space Urchin: Cookie’s trusty steed. The Great Tag Magician: the wizard who gifted Cookie the power to travel between dimensions. Professor Piwiky: a wise and fluffy kiwi bird, the Magician’s familiar and keeper of the ethical guide. The Representative: the overly friendly welcome greeter of every new dimension. Olap: an apprentice of the Star Schemer. Star Schemer: a wizard who encourages Cookie to take matters into his own hands. Definitely not evil.